Monday, October 8, 2012

'Sleepovers' With My 9-Year-Old Daughter - NYTimes.com

When I was in high school in the late ?80s, I took a job baby-sitting for a single mother with a 9-year-old boy. I didn?t know the family well. The father was absent from the situation, and the mother appeared overwhelmed. The kid ran the show, and he got what he wanted by throwing fits, stomping his feet and pouting. The mother doted on her son, and spoke to him in a syrupy baby talk that made my skin crawl.

On my first day on the job, the mother took me on a tour of the house. When we got to her bedroom, the bed was unmade on both sides, and we stood there uncomfortably while I cringed at the thought that this rather unpleasant woman had not slept alone. After a moment of silence, the mother shrugged apologetically and fessed up: her sleeping companion was her son. Given that I was a teenager and felt I was an expert on child psychology, I quickly determined that the child?s behavioral problems were linked to the fact that he still slept with his mother.

Some 25 years later, I?m married with two teenage stepchildren and a 9-year old daughter. Because of our unique situation (five people in a three-bedroom home, custody schedules, etc.), the sleeping arrangements can get quite creative. Yet one thing remains consistent: on Tuesday nights, my husband sleeps on the couch in the living room, and my 9-year-old daughter sleeps with me.

Confessing this publicly is not easy, because I?m a highly opinionated woman who has been known to change her mind on a variety of issues. Before the birth of my daughter, I bragged endlessly about my plans to breastfeed. Yet despite a large investment in a private lactation consultant and a breast pump that rivaled a Dyson DC41 Animal, I produced about four drops of milk. As soon as I cracked open the first can of formula, I shut my mouth and got back to taking care of business, and life was better for all of us, most important, our infant.

So despite the fact that I once thought that a 9-year-old sleeping with a parent was a terrible idea, I have to eat my words. I don?t know exactly how the Tuesday night sleepovers started, but it?s one of my favorite nights of the week. I work full time, and this is time I spend catching up with my daughter. We hop in bed, talk about our days, watch lousy TV and cuddle.

Unlike the conversations in the car, where I?m distracted or stressed, or the big family dinners, when everyone talks at the same time, our sleepover nights allow for uninterrupted time to tackle the Big Questions of Life. I?ll hear about problems at school, answer questions on religion, and attempt to explain puberty without sounding like a seventh-grade health teacher. Most of these nights, my daughter asks me to sing her to sleep, and I bask in the glory that at this point in her life, she still thinks I can sing like Adele.

Take an informal poll of other parents, and you may discover that unique sleeping arrangements are not unusual. Several single, divorced mothers have confessed to me that they let their kids sleep with them. It?s for a variety of reasons ? some do it because they feel they can be closer to protect their child, others admit it?s filling a void and easing the aftermath of a tough divorce. Some parents tell me that an occasional sleepover with a kid isn?t a big deal at all. And then you have parents who have taken the Ferber Method so seriously that the mere thought of having their kid in bed with them sends them straight to the child psychologist.

At the end of the day, it?s about choices. I am going to blink twice, and my 9-year-old, who already practices rolling her eyes at me like a sassy-pants teenager, is going to have absolutely zero interest in hanging out with me, much less participate in a sleepover. So until things change, I?ll cherish our Tuesday nights, and keep on cranking out the lullabies as long as I have a daughter who requests them.


Source: http://parenting.blogs.nytimes.com/2012/10/07/sleepovers-with-my-9-year-old-daughter/

ohio primary cell phone jammer g8 summit

Occupy members join police in bid to save Ga. home

Retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber wipes a tear during a news interview while standing with members of Occupy Atlanta and fellow officers outside Barber's home Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted along with her daughter and four grandchildren, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber wipes a tear during a news interview while standing with members of Occupy Atlanta and fellow officers outside Barber's home Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted along with her daughter and four grandchildren, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber, right, is embraced by former co-worker Robyn Anderson in the home Barber shares with her daughter and four grandchildren Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Yhonna Flowers sits in the home she shares with her four children and her mother, retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber, Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted along with her daughter and four granchildren, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber, right, sifts through bank forms as her daughter Yhonna Flowers, left, talks on the phone while standing with her daughter Choyce, 2, in their home Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted along with her daughter and four grandchildren, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

Coffee mugs hang in the kitchen of retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber in the home she shares with her daughter and four grandchildren Monday, Oct. 8, 2012, in Fayetteville, Ga. Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help Barber avoid losing her home to foreclosure. Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer. If she's evicted, she expects that she will be homeless. (AP Photo/David Goldman)

(AP) ? Less than a year after Occupy Atlanta members clashed with police in riot gear in a downtown park, they're now protesting alongside officers to help a retired detective avoid losing her home to foreclosure.

Activists joined current and retired Atlanta police Monday for a demonstration and discussion at the home of retired Atlanta police Det. Jaqueline Barber in Fayetteville, south of the city.

"The police are in the 99 percent and when it comes down to their economic struggles, we're going to be there to shine a light on those and organize around those," said Tim Franzen. He and others who were involved with Occupy Atlanta are now part of a group called Occupy Our Homes ATL, which focuses on the housing crisis.

Barber said she is under threat of eviction after her medical bills mounted, partly because of a diagnosis of multiple myeloma, a form of blood cell cancer.

"I know God did not bless me with this house for someone to just come and take it," Barber, 62, said through tears on Monday.

Representatives of Minneapolis-based U.S. Bank, which is involved in the foreclosure proceedings, did not return phone calls and emails from The Associated Press.

Barber said she spent part of her 20-year career "kicking in doors" as a member of a fugitive task force and also worked undercover in a narcotics unit. She was later assigned to Atlanta's airport, the world's busiest, before she was struck by a car and retired due to the injury in 2001.

She's now raising four grandchildren who range in age from 2 to 10, she said. If she's evicted, she expects that she will be homeless.

A Thursday court hearing in her case is planned. "If she loses, she will be evicted," Franzen predicted.

In November, Atlanta police on horseback and on motorcycles closed in on Woodruff Park downtown, where Occupy Atlanta members had camped in tents. Dozens of demonstrators were arrested in a series of clashes.

Barber is the second police officer Franzen's group has tried to help avoid foreclosure, he said. The first was a law enforcement officer who ended up losing his Snellville home but is still involved in a court battle over the property.

Elsewhere, retired officers have joined Occupy demonstrators. A retired Philadelphia police captain, Ray Lewis, was arrested while wearing his old uniform during an Occupy Wall Street demonstration outside the New York Stock Exchange in November.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/386c25518f464186bf7a2ac026580ce7/Article_2012-10-08-Occupy-Atlanta/id-93fb68411472415288177d7ca0ba379d

odd votestories.info/story.php?id=178627
diet-pills-pro.com/story.php?id=148139
lamar d antoni fashion star andrew bird lizzie borden lizzie borden

Rothko mural defaced at London's Tate Modern

LONDON (AP) ? A vandal scrawled graffiti on a mural by modern American master Mark Rothko at London's Tate Modern on Sunday.

The mural, one of Rothko's Seagram series, was defaced when a visitor to the Tate applied "a small area of black paint with a brush to the painting," the gallery said.

A photograph posted on Twitter by a gallery visitor showed words, including the name Vladimir, scrawled in the corner of the painting. The gallery, which attracts 5 million visitors a year, was briefly closed Sunday after the incident.

Tate Modern said police were investigating.

The graffiti on the painting also appears to read "a potential piece of yellowism." According to an online manifesto, Yellowism is an artistic movement run by two people named Vladimir Umanets and Marcin Lodyga.

This is not the first time an artwork at Tate Modern has been interfered with. In 2000, two Chinese performance artists attempted to urinate on Marcel Duchamp's urinal sculpture "Fountain."

Rothko, who died in 1970, is renowned for his large abstract paintings featuring bold blocks of color. The defaced painting was one of a series intended to decorate the Four Seasons restaurant in New York. Rothko changed his mind about the commission and gave the works to galleries, including the Tate.

Earlier this year, Rothko's "Orange, Red, Yellow" sold for almost $87 million at auction in New York.

Associated Press

Source: http://hosted2.ap.org/APDEFAULT/cae69a7523db45408eeb2b3a98c0c9c5/Article_2012-10-07-Britain-Rothko%20Defaced/id-4d1fdf8f0e4249259b2536febbcf9f9e

ncaa football brian van gorder blazing saddles lsu alabama lsu game lsu game beezow doo doo zopittybop bop bop

Is the Republican Party Racist?

The Confederate flag atop the capitol building in South Carolina The U.S. flag (top), the state flag of South Carolina (middle) and the Confederate flag (bottom) fly atop the capitol building in April 2000 in Columbia, S.C.

Photograph by Erik Perel/Getty Images.

Now that Romney supporters have sought to make race, once again, an issue against Obama with an "explosive" five-year-old video reminding voters that Obama (yes, it's true!) consorts with black people, perhaps it's time to remind people of the real reason Romney deserves rejection at the polls in November: He is the candidate of the neo-racist Republican Party.

?Neo-racist? seem a little pointed? OK, how about ?structurally racist?? I bring up the matter in part because it relates to the discussion lately about how journalism must do more than present false equivalency, treating the two sides of any debate as though they are equally valid. Journalism-watchers have been indulging in a fair bit of self-congratulatory rhetoric about how now journalism is all about the TRUTH behind any debate, as if discovering the truth was always something easy to do on deadline, often without sufficient expertise.

Those who dismiss ?he said, she said? journalism?the tendency to present both sides of any story without judgment?make the arrogant assumption that they can do better, present the truth, the absolute truth on any given contested issue.

But is this true? Is this always possible?

I present, as a test case, the issue of whether the Republican Party should be identified as a ?neo-racist? entity. Could the press present this judgment as a fact? Let?s conduct a kind of thought experiment about how far the press should go in declaring that a matter?s factuality has been decided.

I remember being seated next to Nicholas Lemann, dean of Columbia Journalism School, at some dinner and discussing J-school attitudes toward the question of truth. (I?d taught a few writing seminars at Columbia.) And hearing Lemann saying something important that the bold journalism truthers neglect: that the hardest thing to teach J-school students was to ?report the debates.?

Report the debates! Not to declare truths as if bearing them down on stone tablets from Sinai, but to clarify and sharpen the questions, investigate the hidden agendas, the underlying theories, the potential consequences of each side of a contested issue. Without necessarily declaring a winner.

And thus the real task, ignored by the anti-?he said/she said? crowd, is to decide which issues are valid debates. Because I agree there are some truths that are beyond debate, though not as many as established and obvious as the anti-?he/said she said?-types seem to think. I think most would agree that the 9/11 ?truthers? and the Obama ?birthers? do not merit any further debate; the facts are in. We can declare the believers deluded.

On the other hand, take drone strikes. I?ve argued here that because of the risk they pose to civilians they are, in most cases, by most interpretations of the internationally recognized Laws of Armed Conflict, war crimes. But I can see there are arguments against this, even from liberals, and I don?t think the question is so settled that journalists should be required to identify the president, the secretary of defense and the director of the CIA as war criminals every time they?re mentioned.

I?ve spent some time putting ?truth? claims and false equivalencies in perspective because I want to test the theory that there is one truth in political discourse that the media has almost entirely failed to recognize or fears to utter, one at the heart of presidential campaign reporting: The Republican Party is an institutionally, structurally racist entity. It?s the veritable elephant in the room of campaign coverage.

No, I?m not saying all Republicans are racist. I?m saying that as a party, ever since Goldwater and Nixon concocted the benighted, openly racist ?Southern Strategy? in the ?60s, the Republican Party has profited from overt and covert racism.

The Southern Strategy was designed to capitalize on Southern white resentment of court-enforced busing to end school desegregation, of the 1964 Civil Rights Act's prohibition of discrimination in interstate commerce, of enforcement of the 1965 Voting Rights Act to prevent historically racist Southern counties and states from discriminating against blacks who sought to exercise their right to vote where once they'd been effectively barred. By playing on these issues, Nixon and other Republicans of this era won many traditionally Democratic votes in the South. Later, GOP opposition to affirmative action, race-based hiring "quotas" and all other methods of compensating for the debilitating legacy of slavery, Jim Crow and segregation fed into what was one of the momentous shifts, a total turnaround in just more than a decade (1970 to 1984) from a solidly Democratic South to a solidly Republican one.

A new book about Strom Thurmond, the openly racist senator from South Carolina (he ran as a "Dixiecrat" against Truman in 1948) details how Thurmond's switch from the Democratic Party to the GOP in 1964 was the harbinger and instigator for that shift to a solidly Republican South. Eventually the party became somewhat less overt in its public statements but not in its appeal at the voting booth.

Which means in practice that the GOP starts out every presidential election with (depending on census changes in electoral vote numbers) some 100 electoral votes, more than a third of the way to the 270 electoral votes needed for victory.

Is it an accident that these 100 votes come from the core states of the Old Confederacy?Texas, Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama, Georgia, South Carolina?

Looked at another way, as things stand, there would be no presidential "race" at the moment if it weren't for those ex-confederate states?even if they split their votes. Mitt Romney would have little or no chance of winning and might as well quit the race now. Nor would the GOP have much chance of re-taking the Senate or even winning the House again. They would be dead as a political party if not for the legacy of racism. I think that's a fact. Do you think it's "he said/she said"?

That doesn?t mean that all Southern whites vote GOP only because of race. But when I checked in with the careful historian of Nixon?s Southern Strategy, Rick Perlstein, author of books on the Goldwater and Nixon phenomena, he suggested that recent research has demonstrated that racial attitudes?as opposed to mere conservatism on other policy issues?determine Republican votes in the South.

He referred me to a book by Thomas Schaller, called Whistling Past Dixie, in which Schaller cites sophisticated polling studies of Southern voters. Perlstein has explained his regard for Schaller?s book:

Schaller builds this conclusion on one of the most impressive papers in recent political science, "Old Times There Are Not Forgotten: Race and Partisan Realignment in the Contemporary South," by Nicholas Valentino and David Sears. Running regressions on a massive data set of ideological opinions, Sears and Valentino demonstrate with precision that for example, a white Southern man who calls himself a "conservative," controlling for racial attitudes, is no less likely to chance a vote for a Democratic presidential candidate than a Northerner who calls himself a conservative. Likewise, a pro-life or hawkish Southern white man is no less likely?again controlling for racial attitudes?than a pro-life or hawkish Northerner to vote for the Democrat. But, on the other hand, when the relevant identifier is anti-black answers to survey questions (such as whether one agrees "If blacks would only try harder they could be just as well off as whites," or choosing whether blacks are "lazy" or "hardworking"), an untoward result jumps out: white Southerners are twice as likely than white Northerners to refuse to vote for the Democratic presidential candidate. Schaller writes: "Despite the best efforts of Republican spinmeisters ? the partisan impact of racial attitudes in the South is stronger today than in the past."

At the very least these patterns make Southern voters susceptible to what some observers have called "dog whistle" appeals to racism, such as Mitt Romney's false claim in campaign ads that Obama had "gutted" welfare reform work requirements, reminding many of Reagan-era attacks on "welfare queens" in Cadillacs.

Source: http://feeds.slate.com/click.phdo?i=b9fbac33e51b2bc1da3868b4dd34e61b

arpaio carol burnett neil degrasse tyson neil degrasse tyson davy jones death born this way foundation lytro camera